The Test

Friday 20 September 2013 

Weather:     Bright and sunny

Mood:     Low 3/10

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Today will be a test. Even as I write, I am unsure of how this will turn out. 

Outside, the weather is delightful.  A cloud-free blue sky and bright sunshine. Perfect cycling weather.

Inside, however the weather is dark. This is a bad day. A ‘can’t’ (do things) day.

Inside my mind, a debate is taking place. Part of me is telling me to stay indoors. Stop the clock and  batten down the hatches. Ride the storm in solitude, like you normally do.

Another part of me has an altogether brighter outlook. I have things to do and places to go. I should get on my bike and do them.

Experience had taught me that If I do not make a decision soon, the former part of me will win, by default, because I will waste the day musing and i will do nothing.

The latter part of me is egging me on, trying to make me take the first step. Today, i’m not really sure what the first step is. 

Time passes and fluffy white clouds now float along outside my window. Fluffy white clouds with dark bottoms. The weather is changing. Slowly. Like my thoughts. 

With muffled tick tock, the clock marks the passage of time. Ticking away the minutes. Tocking away the nice weather.

Somewhere in my mind, a deal is being struck. What if I just got ready to cycle? I could still stay in, but I’d be ready if I changed my mind? Deal.

I’m aware of what’s happening and a smile appears on my face. I’m dragging myself out of the darkness. Subtely negotiating forward movement, albeit in small steps. I’m dressed in my leggings. Another deal. It wouldn’t do any harm to check my tyre pressures would it?  And my blood sugar level? Both a bit low. Nothing that can’t be fixed with bicycle pump and a banana. Another smile.

The fluffy white clouds are now big white clouds with black bottoms. Better get a shift on. Before I know it, I’m wrestling my bike down the stairs and into the cool autumnal air.

Test passed. Another ‘can’t’ (do things) day converted into a ‘can’ (do things) day courtesy of ‘The cycle path to happiness.

Enough faffing about for one day. I’ve got things to do and people to see…

 

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2 thoughts on “The Test

  1. I’ve thought about adding a mood rating to my blog, similar to what yours, either to each post or on the side in a widget. But using one number to summarize the complexity use of mood has always made me balk. There are so many different dimensions to mood. In particular it helps me to look at depression/mania and anxiety separately.

    Just as you use the metaphor of cycling in your website, I intend to play with the metaphor of weather in mine. It is interesting that you give both a number for your mood and describe the (external) weather. I am thinking of using external weather icons to describe mood, e.g. “Cloudy today with a chance of showers,” or “Sunny and breezy” (partly to add some humor). Do you have any thoughts about that?

    Cheers — I hope that you keep up this interesting blog. I look forward to it.

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